God's Plan for a Happy Christian Marriage

Marriage was created by God and His word gives us detailed instructions on how to have a happy Christian marriage. While there are many verses throughout the Bible that address marriage and how to ensure your Christian marriage is happy and fulfilling, Ephesians 5 makes God's plan for blissfulness in your marriage very clear. Read this chapter of the Bible together and discuss with your spouse how you can each apply God's direction to your Christian marriage. Furthermore, prayer shoud be a daily practice in your marriage. God promises us that He hears and answers our prayer when we ask for things that are in accordance with His will (read 1 John 5:14-15). He also tells us in His word "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20)." In addition to making prayer a regular part of your marriage, you should use some of these tips to create a happy marriage filled with mutual respect and love:

1. Focus on giving, rather than taking. Use the 90/10 method to measure how much you should be giving in relation to how much you are taking. If you are spending 90% of your time ensuring your spouse is happy and only 10% of you time focusing on your own desires and your spouse is in turn doing the same, you will both be striving for happiness 100% of the time. Granted, being happy 100% of the time is impossible but this illustration is just to demonstrate how much you should be willing to give to your relationship. You will always get back more than you give when you do it with an loving heart.
2. Be considerate of the feelings and needs of your spouse. This goes right back to giving versuses receiving. In every situation you should consider how your spouse feels.
3. Be a good listener. Listening is not simply hearing the words that are spoken, but also trying to understand your spouse's point of view and actively responding to what is said.
4. Have realistic expectations of your spouse; do not expect perfection. The fastest way to be disappointed is to set your expectations beyond what is reasonable. Do not expect to get anything that you are not willing to give.
5. Appreciate the small things. Sometimes the small things in a relationship are overlooked or taken for granted. Make sure you let your spouse know how much you appreciate the little things in your relationship no matter how insignificant or routine it may seem.
6. Be willing to compromise. Give and take . . . happiness in your relationship seems to always resort back to how much each spouse gives and takes. Be willing to do something you wouldn't typically do to make your spouse happy and it will be returned.
7. Solve problems rather than trying to find who is at most fault. Knowing who to blame does not bring about a resolution. Instead, it only leads to more conflict and anger. When a problem arrises in your relationship, focus on how to resolve it rather than spending time arguing about who should've, could've, or would've done something differently.
8. Make time for your relationship. This can be one of the most difficult things to remember as you both settle into your "comfort zone." All relationships require work, no matter how long you have been together. Be sure to set aside time each day to reconnect with your spouse and discuss the events of your day.
9. Spice up your lovemaking. Remember the passion that fueled your lovemaking in the beginning of your relationship and recreate it.
10. Set up a date night and keep it; no matter how busy you both may be. This is the best way to break out of your daily routine. Make time for just the two of you to spend an evening with each other.

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